He could light a room up with it – no kidding. I lean in for a peck on the lips – we being outside, I don’t particularly want to show my new found sexuality off to the adorning public, but instead of it being the intended peck, he doesn’t release his clutch. We kiss, our tongues lightly bounce off each others, god, he should know what that does to me. I open my eyes, his are closed, lost in the moment. He raises his hand to my chest, caressing it lightly, arousing me all the more. I lean down further, for full body contact, as our bodies entwine together, getting more and more aroused by the newness of it all. I move so that I am lying between his legs, he raises them, crossing his feet around my back. I giggle as we part lips, he smiles up at me, with the look of devilment that meant only one thing.He reaches for the knot holding my shorts up, I pretend to protest, but I cannot lie – I was excited at the impending activities. He opens the knot and the zip, and reaches into my undies. I heard the spinning of tires on the gravel and saw the trail of smoke as he sped up the dirt road. I had been calm while he was here but now I felt weak. What kind of world was I in? I'm going crazy. This is some kind of hallucination. I dropped my professional calmness. I was angry and afraid. I could feel tears welling up and I was shaking badly. I sat at the kitchen table. How do I deal with this? I began to sob uncontrollably. Not only over the fear I had, the helplessness, the confusion, but my whole situation. What the heck is going on? Am I ill? I had a measure of stability back in a few minutes. I got my breathing under control and dabbed at my eyes. Mascara blackened my fingertips. I wiped it away with a napkin from the table. Okay. I knew a little more. My "old man" was involved in drugs. I was a drunk. Our rent was overdue and my car was trashed. "I can deal with that can't I?" I waited a few more minutes to be sure this Beedy character was.
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